Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize