Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
