I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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