How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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