He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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