Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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