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You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
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You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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