I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
