I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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