just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
