Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We have started to decorate penises.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
