He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
