my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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