this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
