I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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