If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
