I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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