if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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