The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
