Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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