My room smells like vodka and shame
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
