i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize