I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
