so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
