Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
