i always forget guys have bellybuttons
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
