the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
