I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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