For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
