Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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