Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize