My brain says no but my pants say off.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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