it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
