Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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