its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
