I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
His hands were made for my vagina.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize