Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
