Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
