How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
