glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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