Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
