oh god the rape fog is back!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
