i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
