I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
