Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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