dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
