Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
