I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
