Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
do nipples grow back?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
