i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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