How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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