He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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