i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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