So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
