at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
