this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't think brook has ever known best
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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