We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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