Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
