we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm too high and old for this...
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