So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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