You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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