his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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