i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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