Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize