I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
try to milk me bitch
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
