I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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