Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize