worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
