also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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