there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
