why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
